I haven’t quite figured out why, but my roommate thought I should be on a third dating app. So that happened. Somehow the guys on this one were bolder and a tad aggressive. I’m not enjoying it as much. Unfortunately I can’t show you examples because the swipe left and right functions are super sensitive on this one (as I accidentally found out), so I don’t have visuals. There have been a couple of funny things though, that honestly I would like to start a survey. I would like to know how many times these lines actually work for these people.
The first one: guy commented on my photo with “Well, you look like a good girl {kissy face emoji}.” The first thing you should know, is that he was young enough that I could be his mom. Apparently setting an age range means nothing on this app. The second thing is that is the cheesiest thing I have ever heard! I’m just curious if that has ever worked for this guy, cause all it did is give me a giggle and the heebie jeebies at the same time.
The second one: this guy fully laid out that he’s just looking for ladies to bang. Points to him for being honest. I can respect that. Then he has the line “Pitter, patter, let’s get at ‘er!” After I finished laughing my ass off and declining that one, I was informed that’s from the show Letter Kenny. Still, I’m curious if that’s every actually worked for him.
Ok, now for the visuals!
Oh, that’s…not…great. I have questions that I really don’t want to ask. Also, never ask whoever you do end up dating to do your laundry. Wash your skid marks yourself.
A) Who is your dentist? I need a new one if they’re handing out flowers. B) Maybe your dentist was showing you how you should treat others? They were doing something kind for you. It was an appreciation thing. We like being appreciated…it’s reciprocal.
Don’t you tell me what gif I can and can not use to say hello! If you can’t take me at my most awkward gif game than you can’t handle me at my most awkward in person. You’re lucky anyone is saying hello to you at all. Ass. I’m ok now.
Ok? I honestly don’t have anything to add to that.
Now, I love Bob Ross but he was not an attractive man, so I don’t know if this is good or bad. Bad, right?
That’s a big Hell to the No.
This guy officially figured the bio out:
He’s ahead of me on keeping plants alive and cooking so…
Anybody else want to tell him? No?
Uuuummm…ok? Are you proud of this or something? Why should I know this? This guy also said he’s super attracted to stoner chicks and every pic he posted was with drug paraphernalia, so maybe I shouldn’t be questioning this answer.
And because I love to end on a photo:
Yup.
Thanks to Suzanne, Stephanie, and Bailey for adding to the folder of hilarious dating app fails. To see the past blogs of fails click the links below!