The definition of Taint has always been funny to me: It the area that in between, where it t’ain’t your balls and it t’aint your ass.
While that’s funny and all, I just learned about something that (I guess) has been around for a while…GOOCH GREASE? What the fuck is that?
Well, let me tell you.
Gooch Grease is a combination of Mud Butt, sweat and Crotch Rot. Somehow, some motherfuckers are so nasty that they create this nasty blend of goo that coagulates around your taint.
Now I understand IBS. You end up wiping all day long and you end up with a raw butthole because the office you work at supplies the crapper with 2-grit sandpaper. But you gotta wipe. You gotta get that greasy mess out of there.
Regardless, from what I have learned MEN have been trying to mitigate this issue of Gooch Grease by raiding the feminine hygiene product aisle and buying up maxi pads to soak up the rank nastiness rather than cleaning up.
First off, this is lazy, buy some Dude Wipes and clean up.
Secondly, these guys are buying up things that ladies NEED. Guys don’t NEED them.
Now, the upside is that men are paying the “Pink Tax” AND guys are no longer ashamed to guy pads, Granted, they are for themselves and probably lying about who they are for. (A side note, I LOVE to make a big deal about buying feminine hygiene products. It embarrasses my family and other shoppers, but the employees get a kick out of it).
It escapes me as to why people feel like they have to post EVERYTHING about their lives only. I have seen everything from brushing teeth to incarceration stories. We have now crossed the Rubicon and entered into telling people how fucking gross you are. I hope your significant other doesn’t mind this…and if your are single, put this bullshit in your profile and see how many right-swipes you get.
Nasty…just fucking nasty.