Every morning I get up and check the news and I got a notification on my phone that today is National Flashlight Day. In full disclosure, I thought it said that it was National Fleshlight day and…well, I did what anyone would do…seize the day and celebrate.
Then, I reread it and it said National FLASHLIGHT Day. Am I embarrassed that I misread it?
NO! (Though, I am a bit sleepy)
But this brings me to what doctors are putting out as a warning to everyone this holiday season, as it seems to a problem…one that I have never thought about…Masturbating with Christmas ornaments is a bad idea.
While guys get a bad rap that we will stick our manhood in anything, it look like the ladies are getting into the action. How this became a trend is baffling to me, but here it is. You would think common sense would kick in, alas, it has not, which is why we have doctors putting out statements like Dr. Sarah Welsh,
“It is not advisable to masturbate with Christmas ornaments…Christmas ornaments can have sharp aspects or pieces that can break during masturbation, which can cause soreness, the risk of trauma and are just generally unsuitable for your vagina,”
While those the ornaments are dangerous, so sticking candy canes (hook first) isn’t the smartest things, either.
I don’t know about you, but I figured this is just one of those limited fetish things, I was quite surprised to find that shoving those round ornaments in to the vajayjay is more common than thought. In the U.K. alone there were over 13,000 cases reported by people 25-64 alone.
Now, I get it, 2021, we were still reeling from the effects of COVID and some counties had more restrictions of where you can and can’t go and you get bored, but I don’t think my mind would go immediately to “gee, what could I stick in my pussy,
Now, guys, you aren’t the hook on this one. While we aren’t using Christmas ornaments (as often) we have been found shoving kidney beans in their urethra or cannisters of deodorant in their rectums. (which BTW, stayed up there for almost a month before it was removed).
So what did we learn from all of this?
Don’t shove foreign objects inside your body…unless it was means to be there…just saying.