I know this may be gross, but dammit, I am tired of seeing this every where I go…and yes, I am sure that I am just as much to blame from time to time.
Every time I go into a bathroom in my house, regardless of which of the 3 toilets, it is there. I see it at work in all 6 shitters…the ephemeral “Klingon”.
Now, as a guy, I have to do my duty (no pun intended), to use my standing pee stream to knock it down. Usually, this is a futile “good Samaritan” act, but damn if I don’t try.
What blows my mind is how does ANYTHING stick like glue to porcelain, unless it is Super Glue or Gorilla Glue. I had to lead you to wonder, what the hell are you eating that makes this happen.
So, while I was on the shitter this morning, after seeing the latest brown snail-looking turd, stuck to the bowl, I did what any good sleuth would do…use my phone to look up how this happens?
(Let’s not go into how gross your phone becomes when you take it to the bathroom and “study” while you shit.)
As I researched, I learned why your doody sticks to the bowl. I had assumed that it was because it is there was some kind of suction that was created , but I was, mostly, wrong. It is about the food that you are throwing down your gullet.
To say I wasn’t surprised is to be pretty accurate. If you like fatty foods, fried foods, cheese and red meat, chances are you will have sticky poo.
But that isn’t the only reason, as sometimes it could be that you have some kind of digestive issue. You may any of the following issues:
- Poor fat digestion
- Celiac disease
- Pancreatitis
- Pancreatic cancer
- Peptic ulcer
- Lactose intolerance
- Inflammatory bowel disease
Some of those are head nodders like, “ya, I can’t do the milk thing” or “holy shit I need to get that looked at”. When it comes to Celiac disease, it is becoming more and more common, which is why you see a LOT of glutten free options out there.
So if you don’t want to be the asshole (yes, pun intended) to leave your calling card, here is what you can do:
- Hydrate…yes, drink fluids…specifically, water
- Excersise. I mean, why not? A walk won’t kill you and your shit won’t stick around
- Probiotics
- And eat a salad once in a while, for god sakes.
I will admit, yes, I have shit that sticks every so often…but for a good reason…and now I know why. I will say, though, when it is possible, I will get a bowl cleaner and knock my shit off before the next person comes in.