Dating sucks. Dating as an older adult sucks. I’m just laying that out there now. I got divorced last year and am trying to figure it out. Enter the dating app. Some of you have done a fantastic job with your photos and bios. But some of you…no. Just, no. My friends Suzanne, Stephanie and I have seen enough bad dating profiles that we’re thinking about starting a business to help men with their profiles. I’m pretty sure we could be bagillionaires just from what we’ve shared in the last week with each other. If you think we don’t share the things we’ve seen (and the pics of your junk that you send) we absolutely do. Especially the pics of your junk. The woman (or women) you send it to has sent it to ALL of her friends. And yes, we ARE laughing at your junk.
So, in public service to those of you with things we women don’t want to see (including unsolicited junk pics) I’m starting a series of blogs to help you out. I wanted to call it “what the fuck was this guy thinking?” but Steve said no.
To start…dead animals. It’s great that you hunt and fish! Have a fantastic time! Include in your bio that you enjoy the outdoors. Perhaps have that conversation when you go out on a date. No woman wants to see pictures of dead animals on your profile. 95% of the profiles I’ve seen have something dead on them. Stop it. This lovely young lady even did a funny video rating the dead fish videos she was seeing in dating apps cause she was tired of seeing them. No more dead animals, please!
View this post on Instagram
Next up, spelling is important! Plus, with spellcheck on every computer and smartphone there is absolutely no reason to spell anything wrong. None!
Now let’s move on to some of the more ridiculous things that I (or one of my friends) have seen in a profile. Keep in mind that I have an entire folder on my computer of this stuff. The following examples are just the beginning.
This line may have you thinking you’re super cool to your friends, but not to a woman. This is just creepy.
When picking out photos, try to select photos without another woman’s hand by your junk. Just a tip for future reference…
Now this final gem for today…I almost have no words. ALMOST. This guy is why I wanted to title the blog “what the fuck were you thinking?” Do you really think any woman is going to respond to “mommy milkers?” I know he’s trying to be funny and I appreciate a sense of humor, but good God, no.
Yeah, just…no.
Again, there are some good ones out there. But holy crap are there some bad ones. I have a folder. I didn’t even tell you the pee story one of my friends has. I’ll save that for next week.